Lizzo is the latest guest on The Hollywood Reporter‘s Awards Chatter podcast released on Thursday (June 23), where she reflected on how music helped heal some of the darkest moments of her life and how “Truth Hurts” was the song she always wanted to write.
“When I was a little kid, one of my dreams was to write a song that the world could sing back at me,” she said of her 2017 breakout hit, which exploded in the music scene in 2019 and skyrocketed her into superstardom. “And I think I’ve been so wrapped up in album promo and work, work, work, that I need to stop and realize, ‘You did.’ That’s the song. That’s the song of little me’s dreams. I did it. And it feels incredible to stand there and just with one single note — one piano hit — people go bananas.”
She also delved deep into the low moments of her life, after she dropped out of college. “I was so embarrassed, I was so ashamed, that I stopped speaking, because I didn’t know what to say. I had nothing to say. I was so angry, and I didn’t want to say mean things to people — they didn’t deserve it — so I just kept it to myself and I was like, literally silent, like, I didn’t speak to people even in the same room, I didn’t say ‘hello,’ I didn’t say ‘goodbye,’ people asked me questions and my mouth was, like, glued shut for months,” she said. “I remember being like, ‘OK, cool. I’m gonna just pursue music in a different way. Maybe not flute, but singing, rapping, whatever.’ It was very delusional.”
“I was so driven to make something happen, so that once I made that thing happen I could take it back and fix my family and fix my personal life… I was very irresponsible, I think. It was the irresponsibility that got me out of where I was living — I couldn’t afford to live where I was living anymore,” she continued. “When my father passed away, I didn’t want to work anymore… I was, like, so catatonic, and I didn’t want to do anything. I was, like, really over life as it was. I was like, ‘I know this isn’t what life is supposed to be like. Maybe life shouldn’t be.’ Those kinds of thoughts. I had been brought down to the bare minimum of existence.”
Thankfully, Lizzo has grown into a better place, noting that “the rest of my life has been dedicated to healing that period” before adding, “I’m so incredibly grateful for the life I’ve experienced because it has prepared me in insurmountable ways for the life that I have now. This s— is a breeze! This is a cakewalk, honey!”
Listen to the full episode below.